The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
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