I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
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