that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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