What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
this boner is exhausting
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
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