would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize