fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
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