Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
Randomize