Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
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I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
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Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
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