your thong is hanging out like whoa
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
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I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
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I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
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