Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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