Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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