She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize