HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize