girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize