We're like a lot better than the average bears
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize