3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
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