i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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