Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize