You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
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