I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Randomize