She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
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