Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
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