You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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