I am puke
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
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