last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
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