I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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