I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
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