D3 body, D1 cock
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Randomize