butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
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