Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Randomize