Rock
Scissors
Fuck
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
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