Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Randomize