I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Even my vagina gasped.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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