Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
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