it wasn't lemon gatorade
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
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