he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
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He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
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