I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Randomize