she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize