u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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