i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
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