Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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