sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
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Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
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I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
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