i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
When did angry sex become our thing?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
You've changed since you got that strap on
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
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