i just wanna soil my oats bro
Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
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