Just mADE A PArabola og urine
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
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