Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize