3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
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i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
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Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
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