Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
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