My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
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