I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Randomize